Worry Less, Plan More

© Copyright 2024 Fran Carey, All Rights Reserved.

According to Sciencefocus.com, overthinking is unlikely to burn more than 5 calories an hour. If it's such a poor fitness strategy, why do we all do it so much?

We think we are accomplishing things with our worries, but we rarely are. Distinguish the real dangers from the imagined ones. Write down the real ones and start planning real actions to deal with them. It’s always better to act than to react. The car is fifteen? Ditch the Double Double habit and put that money in a savings account, or a coffee can, for a down payment when Car bites the dust. Kid is sick? Feed kid well, pray after your fashion, and realize the best thing you can do is love and follow the doctor's orders.

The worries about things like comets smashing into your apartment building, yeah, it can happen, but it’s more likely you’ll win the lottery if you bother to buy a ticket. Pull up a relaxing image or memory, do some stretching, take a hike, or otherwise quit feeding the worry monster, and let it go.

A lot of our inner negative feedback comes from the Shoulds that we learned when we were kids. Sit down, make a list of what you actually need to do. Work of some sort. Eat. Make sure the kids are fed, whether they are human or fur babies. Have shelter. Have clothing for you and any human kids. Fur babies come already clothed.

Take two sheets of paper. On one, write “NEEDS”, just like that, all caps. On the other, write “wants”, all lower case. On the NEEDS page, list those things technically necessary for continued survival. Cell phone might be one, if you work from the road a lot. If you use it strictly for Candy Crush and the Gram, not so much. Cell phone then goes on the wants page. Be very specific. Don’t say just “cell phone” if what you believe you should have is the latest iPhone.

Once you have written all the things you think you should have, all the things you are working and worrying after, that you think you cannot be happy without, on one page or the other, walk away. Come back the next day and read your lists. What can you move from the NEEDS page to the wants page? Is a white chocolate caramel mocha latte really necessary for continued existence?

Repeat the walk away and rethink twice. Then, in another color pen or pencil, write on the NEEDS list what you are actively doing to fulfill those needs. You are working to pay for shelter, food, and clothing. You have talked to your employer or your local health organization about insurance to cover medical needs. You have a green bean can you’ve rinsed out and are putting a dollar a day in for the down payment on your next car. Okay. Needs are getting met.

The wants list. Prioritize. I really want a bike rack for my new car. More than I want a new tent. So I’ll cut the top out of another green bean can and put a quarter a day in it. I can put a nickel a day in a Mason jar for the tent. See how this works? The latest Joseph Heywood book I’ll get from the library. They can bring it in on an Interlibrary Loan for me. My tax dollars at work. It may take some time to figure out your priorities. Ask yourself why you want the things on the want list. Is it because they will add to your enjoyment of your life? Or is it because Sally at the gym has these really cool Asics runners and you feel inferior to her because yours are from last year? Are the soles and the uppers blown? If not, you don’t need new shoes. If they are, yeah, good running shoes actually are a need if you log real miles.

Do the same thing with anything else that feels like an ancestral Should. Is the voice in your head nagging you about living in an apartment when Becky and Jan own their own houses? Why do you choose to live in an apartment? Are you happy there, where you don’t have to spend weekends cutting the lawn, and if you come home from work Friday night and there’s no hot water, all you gotta do is get on the phone to Bryan? That’s okay, too. You can spend your weekends in the park or on the road. Quit beating yourself up because you chose a lifestyle different from the teeming masses. As long as what you’re doing isn’t hurting you, the planet, or anyone else, it’s all good.

If you are having a hard time deciding if a thing is a need or a want, do a tarot reading about it. This is a time when it's totally okay to read for yourself, because what you are doing is clarifying your thoughts. Ask the Universe what will be the outcome if you get the thing, versus if you don't. Do one reading for "get" and another for "don't get".

Spellwork is also appropriate for helping with the NEEDs. A spell for a new job or home, a health spell, a spell to manifest the right car. Again, as long as what you are doing doesn't hurt anyone or anything, and you follow through in the real world.

Worry damages your heart, your waistline, your brain, and your self image. Put those 5 calories an hour toward planning. Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. And always have extra batteries for your flashlight.

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